


Hold On

by anythingbutplatonic



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 19:11:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4111896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anythingbutplatonic/pseuds/anythingbutplatonic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Kurt just can’t understand why Blaine is so calm about everythingwhen he’s freaking out so badly he’s awake most nights, thinking over every little detail and exploring every possible scenario. Shouldn’t he be more worried about this?</p><p>Originally posted on Tumblr October 2nd 2014.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold On

Blaine, Kurt decides, has the equivalent in emotional strength of the Great Wall of China.

For the last eight months he’s been as cool and relaxed as one person could possibly be, sipping carrot juice every morning because it was the only thing that kept the nausea at bay, practising pregnancy-friendly yoga poses on the exercise mat he’d bought especially for this purpose, taking warm baths and playing smooth jazz for  _hours_  because, he insisted, it was the only thing that stopped the baby from kicking him relentlessly. 

Kurt, however, had been exactly the opposite.

While Blaine was happily eating sticks of celery like candy and listening to dolphin calls or ocean sounds or whatever it was that he listened to through his headphones, sprawled out on the couch in an old t-shirt that just about stretched over his growing belly, Kurt was freaking out over just about  _everything_.

He worried about whether Blaine was eating enough or even eating the right foods (there had been a point during the last part of his second trimester where he ate nothing but almonds for almost three days), whether he was doing too  much exercise, whether they should have started going to Lamaze classes earlier in his pregnancy, spent hours shopping online for baby-proofing equipment and then fretted over whether it would be safe because you can never be one hundred per cent sure, reading every parenting blog and baby book he could get his hands on, and generally just panicking about every possible thing a new parent could panic about.

And then some.

 

It drove Blaine crazy - but he didn’t even know the half of it. Kurt had once stayed up til 3am, long after Blaine was snoring away softly in the next room, frantically searching for the nearest medical centre that offered infant and child First Aid (he didn’t find any.)

So yeah, Kurt was panicking. He was nervous about being a parent for the first time and downright  _terrified_ of doing something wrong or of something  _going_  wrong that he laid awake most nights, thinking of more things to worry about. He just wanted to be a good dad - no,  _the_  best dad he could possibly be. Like his own father. 

He was just so scared of messing up. 

It was one of those such nights when Blaine finally gave up his silence and confronted Kurt about his increasingly anxious behaviour.

Kurt had been hunched over his laptop at 2am, reading a blog he’d discovered about caring for premature babies, his brow so deeply furrowed in the blue glow of the screen that he was in danger of permanently etching grooves into forehead, when Blaine had rolled over sleepily, squinting in the artificial light from Kurt’s laptop.

“Wha’ you doin’, Kurt?” he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes and trying to adjust himself into a comfortable position - difficult to do when he was almost eight months pregnant.

“Nothing,” Kurt said. Then he added, “Reading. I found this amazing blog ran by parents of two premature babies, it’s all about how they care for them and what their needs are, and how they’re developing. And the photos are so cute!”

“Kurt,” Blaine replied slowly, “it’s two in the morning. Don’t you think you should get some sleep?”

“I need to read this, Blaine,” Kurt said, “it’s important. This is important information that could potentially be extremely valuable to us if something like this happens to the baby.”

At that, Blaine immediately snapped awake. “The baby? Is that what this is about?”

“There’s little over a month left and I want to be prepared, okay?” Kurt explained. “We need to cover all bases. You never know what could happen. And I want to make sure that I know what I’m doing.”

Heaving himself up into a sitting position, Blaine rubbed circles absent-mindedly over his belly as he said, “Don’t you think you’re being a little excessive? I mean, I’ve being doing everything that Dr. Jones had told me to, eating right and getting plenty of exercise and resting a lot, not getting stressed, managing my blood pressure - I think I’m fine. The baby’s not going to come early, Kurt. At least, not  _that_  early.”

“But it  _could_ ,” Kurt said, feeling frustration build within him, “it  _could_  happen, don’t you see? That’s why I’m doing this. Because if something  _does_  happen, we’re prepared and we can deal with it and face it head on.”

“It won’t happen, Kurt, trust me, I’ve got it covered. It’’ll be  _fine_.”

“You don’t know that!” Kurt exclaimed, snapping his laptop shut and pushing it away from him. “You don't  _know_ , Blaine, neither of us do. Something could go wrong during labour or the delivery and our - our baby could end up sick or - or injured or worse, or  _you_  could get sick or hurt and I’ll have to - I’ll have to look after the both of you, and I’m just so  _terrified_  of being a bad dad or that it’s not going to go to plan that I  _need_  to do this research and look at all this stuff because otherwise I’m going to fall apart!”

Kurt stares at Blaine for a long time in the dim light of their bedroom, trying to stop his bottom lip from wobbling dangerously and blinking back the tears that collect in his eyes, but  _dammit_ , he’s scared and he doesn’t understand why Blaine isn’t scared too.

Blaine reaches across the bed, scooting up so that he’s pressed against Kurt’s side, and takes both of Kurt’s hands in his own. His skin is warm and it’s an immediate comfort to the nerves that have been fluttering around in Kurt’s stomach for the last eight months. 

“Kurt, everything’s going to be fine. Is it scary? Yeah, absolutely. Of course it’s scary. You don’t think I feel scared, too? The thought of actually being a parent to a living, breathing baby scares the hell out of me. But I feel less scared knowing that I get to do all of it with you. We have each other, remember?" 

"Yeah, we do,” Kurt said softly, squeezing Blaine’s fingers in an affectionate gesture. “I’m still terrified, though.”

“I think fear can be a good thing,” Blaine replied. “If you’re scared, it means you care enough to want to do it right. It’s something that my grandfather used to tell me, when I went to visit him. He’d tell me that fear is a positive thing because it meant you cared. It’s something I thought a lot about after the Sadie Hawkins dance, after I started at Dalton.” Blaine seemed lost in thought for a moment, a pensive expression on his face. “I still think it’s true.”

“How are you so wise?” Kurt asked, sniffling, wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his pyjama shirt. 

Blaine shrugged. “Experience?”

Kurt smacked him on the shoulder playfully. “You’re so amazing. I keep forgetting that.”

Blaine blushed, his cheeks going a delicate pink, though it was hard to see in the barely-there light. “I don’t know about that.”

“You  _are_. I was on the verge of a complete meltdown and you saved me.” Kurt reached over to peck a kiss to Blaine’s cheek, which was stubbly with a day or two of not shaving. “I’m really excited to have this baby with you.”

Blaine turned his head to put his lips to Kurt’s temple.

“Me too." 


End file.
